The Mexican Standoff

In our house, time-outs are not generally handed out willy-nilly. They are generally used to help M calm down from a temper tantrum where we will both sit down on the couch and I will hug him until he can function sensibly again. M will then turn to me and say, "All done crying, Mommy", he'll give me a big hug and just like that time-out is over. Unfortunately, there is occasionally the instance where time-outs are doled out for behavioral indiscretions, but I generally try as hard as possible to avoid this because those time-outs are tough on both of us...we're both usually pretty angry by that point.

Yesterday, I was talking with my friend Teri who told me that her not-yet-2.5-year-old had been put in time-out about three times. It got me to thinking about time-outs and the lack of them around here as of late. It's not that M has been particularly well behaved...cuz, unfortunately that's not necessarily the case. He is after all almost three years old. I guess it's that his temper tantrums have been increasingly fewer and farther between. He'll complain and cry and get upset, but he is less likely to lose control of himself to the point of a full on tantrum. I guess this is a sign of his growing up and development...or my excellent parenting:)

Well, this morning as M began to throw his toys on the floor, I warned him that this was not acceptable behavior. He smiled, and it was a smile that can only be described as smug, and threw some more toys on the floor. I warned him not to do it again and added in that if he did, he would be given a time-out. As I said this, I realized that I would have to follow through on this because I had not been doing so lately. Sometimes it's just easier to leave things be because well, I must be lazy. But I digress. So, the little bugger, with a gleam in his eye, throws another toy on the ground.

With a sigh of resignation, because I really do not enjoy the punishment part of parenting, I tell M, "That's it Buddy. You didn't listen to Mommy, so it's time to go sit in time-out." I guess he didn't think I'd follow through because he starts screaming NOOOOOOOOO, as I pick him up and place him on the couch with his blankey.

I gave him a minute to calm down and then asked him if he was ready to apologize for throwing his toys on the ground. He says no. This continues for fifteen minutes. I was really starting to panic at this point. What should I do? He was only supposed to be in time-out for a minute or two, but he's so stubborn and just won't give in. Seriously, what kind of child would actually choose to sit alone on the couch for fifteen minutes when he could get up and play if he just apologizes.

I called Safta to let her know what was going on. She told me that he's obviously not going to give in and has probably forgotten what he was put in time-out for in the first place so I need to end this. As we are discussing how to do this, and it has been about twenty minutes now, M scampers over and put his blankey over his face and then hands it to me. He was FINALLY waving a white flag. I told him that it was not okay to throw toys and that I love him. We hugged and he ran off to play with B. So easy...and yet so very, very, hard.

If he won't apologize at the wee age of not-yet-three, what in the world do we have to look forward to in the years to come. Heaven help me, but I think this apple might be worse than the tree from which he fell...