Uh, It's Closed

Last Saturday, Papa Bear and I realized that it was the last day of our Oakland Zoo membership and that we should take advantage of this. As mentioned in many previous posts, the zoo is M's number one favorite place. Given a choice between the zoo and keeping his little brother, I fear that I know which he would choose...we would most likely be a one child family.

Papa Bear and I packed their snacks, lunches, change of clothes, diapers, sippy cups...their entire bedroom, etc. and bundled the kids into the car. We told M that we were going to the zoo and, of course, he was thrilled. During the drive over, we were treated to a monologue detailing all the animals that we were going to see and what some of them eat. It was a...fun car ride.

Before even getting into the zoo, one has to either pay a $6 parking fee or show one's membership card to bypass this fee. Papa Bear handed me his membership card so that I could hand it to the parking attendant. She looked at the card and told me that the membership had expired the previous day and that we needed to pay the parking fee.

Papa Bear and I looked at each other in shock. How had we managed to misread the date? Seriously, how clueless are we? Are we living in a closet with no calendar, television, internet, or any access to the outside world? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...I was paralyzed because I felt so guilty. I snapped out of my daze and turned to P.B. for the money. He in turn asked the woman if we could turn around.

I looked at P.B. in amazement. Did he actually want to leave? Could he actually break his little boy's heart this way? I turned to him to ask him these very things. Before I could open my mouth, he said, "We're not paying for this. Let's go."

"M is going to be devastated," I said as I began to turn the car around.

As if on cue, M cried desperately, "Where you going? No turn round!!! Zoo is that way, Mommy!" He violently threw his arms in the opposite direction, as if I didn't know where the zoo was.

I again looked at P.B., about to plead M's case for him and was given the look. Anyone in a long term relationship knows that look. The one that says, "Don't even try it. Do you really want to piss me off when you'll lose the argument anyway?" So, I turned to M and, in my most sincere voice said, "I'm sorry baby, the zoo is closed today. They're not letting anyone in." As the lie spilled out, I wondered if there's a special kind of hell for parents who lie to their kids because it's simply the easiest thing to do. How could I explain to a not-yet-three year old that we had accidentally mistaken dates? That we were not going to pay to get inside the zoo? So, I found myself taking the easier route. The route that involved sadness for the child, but made the parent seem less at fault. The route that would help to alleviate some of the parent's guilt. I lied and prayed that my sweet little boy would understand.

Of course, M did not understand. He started crying and telling us how he really wanted to go to the zoo. I felt absolutely awful because I knew what a disappointment this was for M, so I did what any good, caring, responsible mother would do. I bribed him with sugar. "M, I'm sorry you're so sad about the zoo being closed. We can't go today, but Mommy will get you a lollipop. How does that sound? Do you want a lollipop?"

Please. Like he would say no to a lollipop. M said, "Yes, Mommy. I want lollipop. Let's go get lollipop." Papa Bear couldn't really object because, even to him this seemed like a small concession and it's not like we ever give the boys candy. So I pulled the car over at the first Rite Aid that I saw and went inside to get my devastated eldest child a sugar laden, teeth rotting, hyper making, bribe. Inside, I perused the variety of lollies and found the perfect one...a blue Care Bear. It would serve two purposes. First, and definitely most importantly, the lolly was to help M feel better and hopefully stop the tears. Second, and I want to emphasize that this was not at all that important, Papa Bear hates that I allow M to watch the Care Bears and thinks I'm trying to make him a girl. So this was partly to take a jab at the mean P.B. who wouldn't let M go to the zoo...not that I am bothered by his cheapness at all. Seriously, not at all.

I gave M his lollipop and he was so excited. We then spent the morning looking at ovens and stove tops. That's equally as fun for young children. Seriously.